How to Be Grateful for a Broken Heart on Valentine’s Day

I do believe that everything happens for a reason and though it’s taken me quite a while to get there, I’ve learned to be grateful for everything that has happened in my life. The good and the bad. The sun and the rain. The light and the dark. The happy and the sad. Why? Because I wouldn’t be the person I am today nor would I be at this point in my life if I hadn’t lived through any of these experiences. Don’t get me wrong, life isn’t fair sometimes and throws you a curve ball that you might not know how to handle. Then again, I believe that nothing is thrown our way that we’re not able to handle. Still, life sucks sometimes and it’s perfectly fine to wallow in that misery or self-pity for a while. Just like one of my best girlfriends says, one out of three times crawl into bed, cry, eat that bucket of ice cream or watch series all day long to forget. But the other two times you need to get out, you need to get back to life, even though it might feel horrible to need to pretend in the beginning.

We wouldn’t be able to appreciate all the wonderful things that happen to us, if we hadn’t experienced bad times, heartbreaks, sadness or being hurt.
The rain and the sun together create one of the most beautiful wonders of nature, a rainbow.
Know that there is a unique and positive value to be discovered in every turn of events, and choose to make the most of that value.

On Valentines Day 2014, to all the fabulous and single ladies out there:
Have the courage and let love guide your life!
Yes, I do need a broad hint to understand that I actually have feelings for someone. Mostly, friends get involved or the guy needs to make the first move for me to understand what’s going on. And then the realization hits so hard that I have rubber knees and am already head over heals for the guy before knowing what’s happening to me.
I’ve had rubber knees a couple of times in my life. One particular experience that didn’t go so well stayed with me for a very long time, as I was quite hurt in the process. While I blamed him for what happened, without realizing that I was hurting myself, I was finally able to forgive him a little while ago. By not forgiving him and letting the hurt consume me, I built higher and higher walls around me that neither let anything out nor in. And it took a very long time until someone came along that wanted to tear down these towering walls. And I let him…
I have learned so much since then. By forgiving someone else, you actually forgive yourself. Because when a relationship, no matter on what level – love, friendship, friends with benefits – goes wrong, both parties are to blame and not just one. One might have been the more active part, but there’s always the passive sufferer who has a choice as well. I also learned that there are rarely any blacks and whites in this world, but that the world is more often than not built in many, many shades of grey. Everybody makes mistakes. And when love is involved, those mistakes tend to hurt the people that you love, the people that love you, even more. But that’s life…it’s not a Disney fairytale, though I would love to live in one sometimes. And even though it might be outrageously difficult to see the good while something bad is happening to you, I promise you, eventually, you will! Sometimes it just takes a couple of years! 😉
But even though I’ve had the privilege of learning and growing over the past couple of years, there’s nothing that can really prepare you for your next heartbreak. It came extremely unexpectedly and I only understood how much I cared for him when he did the heartbreaking. And I was quite surprised to feel a feeling that I last felt a very long time ago, a broken heart.
While I would very much prefer if things would have turned out differently, I am grateful. I have no regrets. And knowing how this ended, I wouldn’t change a thing.

You always have a choice. You can wallow in that self pity of yours or you can choose to be grateful and make the best of your broken heart.

I choose to believe that he knows how much the time I spent with him meant to me, how much he gave to me, how much he means to me. I’m grateful that I let the feelings happen, that I was brave enough to let it happen, even though I knew I might get hurt in the process; I’m grateful that he opened me up to a new world, showed me things I didn’t know before, cared enough to be there for me through a rough time and gave me his advice, words that meant a lot and gave me more courage to follow my dreams. And that’s already much more than you receive from many people in your life.

You have a choice.

And you can always choose to take a breath, let go and have faith that everything will turn out for the best.

“Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Dalai Lama

So today, to all the fabulous and single ladies out there, let’s use this year’s Valentine’s Day to celebrate ourselves and take a look at the things in life we certainly wouldn’t be able to do if not for our single life awesomeness.

No compromise!
You make your own rules, you can be spontaneous, you can follow your heart wherever it takes you.

Spend some money!
You earn your own money and you may spend it the way you want to. Want to indulge in a wellness weekend? Have you been eyeing a certain slightly over-prized handbag for a while? Or do you want to support a social project? Whatever it is, go do!

You’ve got time!
The wonderful gift of time to use at your convenience to relax, meditate, work out, spend time with your girls, indulge in your favourite activity, set goals, chase your dreams until you catch them and then go and find new dreams!

Love yourself!
Practice your self-love muscle. Do something good for yourself and let go of any regrets, blame or shame that you might carry around (and love may make you feel all of the above sometimes). Learn from your mistakes and don’t feel that you have to prove anything to anyone, not even yourself. You are the only one accountable for your life and your decisions. So choose to discover what you’re passionate about and do what brings joy to you. Self-love is actually the bravest thing that you can do, so take time to look at yourself with love, appreciation and gratitude.

Bake the perfect man!
What are you looking for in a man? Does he have to look a certain way? What character traits should he have? What do you feel you absolutely need to get in a relationship and what might be your personal deal-breakers, if you have any? Write a wish list and do some visualization. Feel the love of this special person as if you already had it!

Go out there and meet new people!
Have the courage and go out with an open heart. And even though being open might also entail being vulnerable, it really is the only way to allow your heart to feel this certain kind of pleasure that makes you understand why all this is worth it!

And you know what?
Your next first kiss, your next big crush or a big love might just be around the corner…

So this Valentine’s Day I choose to be grateful for my broken heart, because it stands for my courage and bravery to go out there with an open heart and embrace feelings I used to be so scared of with open arms.
This Valentine’s Day I’m grateful for my single life that allows me to find myself and makes me understand that all the happiness I need comes from the inside.
And although my heart might have some dents and has some healing to do, it’s still overflowing with love for all the wonderful and special people in my life.

What will you do with this day of love?
Who will you tell that you love them?
Don’t be afraid to do it. No matter how it ends, if you’re in love with someone, it’s the most wonderful compliment you can give a person.
So go out and spread love, the world needs more of that!

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