In this world we need to be a certain way to be accepted. We feel that we’re only deserving of love and happiness if we live up to society’s and people’s expectations.
At least I thought that’s how it goes…in order to be happy and loved I had to be, act and look a certain way.
I was in my mid twenties when I realized that this was making me very unhappy and if I didn’t want life to pass me by anymore I needed to change something!
So in the past seven or so years I’ve dedicated my time to learning about happiness and what it truly means to me. I quickly realized that there are certain things I had to learn to let go of in order to feel less stress and overwhelm, which meant unhappiness for me.
I had to learn to let go of expectations other people and society had. Learning that it wasn’t their fault, but mine, was kind of hard. I allowed them to put pressure on me and with that limited myself. Instead, I can also choose to not live up to anyones expectations, but live a happy life on my terms. If that does not agree with the picture that society would like to paint or the way my friends want me to be, so be it. True love allows for freedom like that.
I’m learning to let go of expecting people in my life to be certain way. I would not want to put that kind of pressure on a person I love and I also realized that it also made me very unhappy when I felt someone didn’t live up to my standards. Instead, it’s about internalizing that if you give something to someone, may that be love or your time, help, support, you should give it without expecting anything in return. Usually, there is a fair balance in life where things get returned to you in a very different way. But don’t expect it! Still, I believe you can never give too much or be too kind!
Letting go of wanting to control every situation has been one of my bigger rocks to tackle. I quickly learned, though, that life is so much more relaxed! This helped: The only thing that I am able to control is how I feel and my attitude towards life and any given situation. I’m, however, not able to control other people or situations where other people are involved. Nevertheless, although I know this, I still find myself in situations where I stress out when things are not going as planned or “my way”. But that’s just life, things rarely go as planned, and I’m getting better at accepting that with each day!
The next big rock was perfectionism, which I felt held me back from being truly happy. I always wanted to be best at what I did, I was very ambitious. That meant spending a lot of time doing things I wasn’t really passionate about, but felt had to be done, because nobody else would be able to do it according to my standards. That applied to work related tasks, but also to many things in my personal life. However, over the past years I learned that there are many different ways to get to a goal. I realized that perfectionism is fear in disguise. The reason why I always wanted to give more than 100% in anything I did was fear of failure! Life is so much more stress free and easy when you don’t obsess about things and are not afraid of failure but learn to see it as a stepping stone to success!
And last but not least, I had to learn to let go of happiness as such an ominous and elusive concept and embrace it as a state of mind that I am in charge of every single day. So in order to bring joy into my life I had to find out what truly brings me happiness without being limited by expectations, controlling issues, or perfectionism. And let me tell you, figuring this out through all the noise you’re encountering on a day-to-day basis both in your personal life and at work wasn’t easy! It took some time, but I finally learned what it means to me.
- Do you feel that perfectionism make you do things you’re not really passionate about?
- Is your need to control every situation getting in the way of you enjoying a present moment to the fullest?
- Do you have difficulty letting go of society’s expectations or expectations your environment has and feel limited in you freedom?
- Is there anything that you feel is holding you back from living the life of your dreams that you want to let go of?
- Is happiness something that has been slipping away or you felt pressured by?
- Do you feel that it’s very difficult to filter out the noise in order to find out what true happiness means to you or you simply don’t know where to start?
- Are you ready to explore what true happiness means to you?
- Willing to step out of your comfort zone and do the work required to make your happiness a priority?
If you answer any of those questions with a Yes, then please know that I’d be more than happy to be part of your journey! To me, happiness means being able to help, support and coach you so that you can find what truly brings you joy and happiness both in your personal life, but also your career.
One last thing, very important: You don’t always have to be happy! It’s okay to have bad days, be in a bad mood, have a good cry. Life is not always balanced and it will suck sometimes! Just don’t let those feelings take over! Always have a life line back to your uniquely beautiful happiness.
Let me help you find your happiness!
With so much love,