I think this is a really really good questions that we should all ask ourselves on our pursuit of happiness.
What is it that you truly need in order to feel joy, love, warmth…? Whatever it is that fills you up, lights you up and makes you happy, no matter how small or fleeting that moment is.
I have pondered that questions for myself and I came up with four pillars:
- Just Me
I have learned over the past years that If I do not take good care of myself, I am no good to the people in my environment and am also not able to be productive at work. Though this is still a battle for me at times, I have learned that putting me first is the most precious gift I can give to myself!
So what is it that I need in order to be happy when it comes to just me?
I need time. Time to do the things that fill me up. I want to be brave and strong to make decisions that my intuition tells me are right for myself though not everyone might agree with them. I want to practice self-love, be kind to myself, listen to my body and forgive myself for mistakes that I will definitely keep making while I am still alive. (Though I hope they change and are not constantly the same! That would not really be progress!) I want to to learn to let go of situations that do not really need my involvement and know when it’s the right time to do so in a kind way. And last but not least, I would love to have the space and calmness to be able to turn inside and really listen. I want to be able to follow my intuition and give my soul and body what it needs. And that needs time!
Family is where I seek support and expect to always find my true constant. That is wehre I will find love, warmth, kindness, compassion and safety. I am appreciated and get to have open and honest conversations that allow me to be my true and authentic self. I get to build and grow this family if not with children of my own, then in other ways! And I learn so much about myself, which is not always easy, but have been some of my most valuable lessons so far, such as learning to take criticism constructively. I am never criticised to be hurt, but because I am loved and appreciated.
In my circle of close friends I am looking for acceptance in terms of who I am and do not want to feel judged for any decisions that I make. I do want them to be honest with me about what they think, of course! But in the end I would hope that they would support and encourage me to follow my heart nevertheless. I am looking for connections that inspire and motivate me and friendships that run so deep and are built on such a solid foundation that time is only a concept that does not affect a friendship. It remains the same deep bond no matter how long we haven’t seen each other!
As much as I think of family as my constant, I do believe that friendships come in seasons. We change. Our values change and change can be very positive! So in order for me to be happy in my relationships I need them to give me energy instead of draining it. Once I leave too much energy behind, I have learned to lovingly let go of people that no longer serve the vision of my life. Though this is hard, it has opened me up to new things that I always hoped to be able to explore!
And last but not least, work, creativity, challenges, interaction with people, writing and building something new, which I love to do! I am looking for a good working atmosphere that is motivating, inspiring and creates positive change through transforming oneself, the company and the world at large. I want to be able to feel passionate about my work and feel fulfilled by the end of the day. I want to step into my own light, the power and talents I have been given, in service to the world and the people I work with in order to align with my own truth as I begin something new.
What are your happiness pillars? And once you have them, what is it that you need to feel joy in those areas? I’d love to hear about it! So do reach out! No message goes unanswered! 🙂