Sometimes it’s really great to have someone to talk to, get their opinion, brainstorm with them or simply get something off you chest that you’ve been carrying around with you. However, there are also times when we talk too much about the same thing. We talk about it to our friends, with the partner, or family. We get many different opinions and thoughts and instead of helping you decide what to do, it only makes your life feel a little unsteady and restless and no step closer to a decision.
I’ve been in situations like that where I knew that talking about it won’t solve the problem at hand and instead of moving forward I kept going in circles when talking about it to different people, making myself crazy.
So the question is, does not talking about everything with everyone actually make you happier?
When you choose to let the story and its words go, you create space, have room to breathe, which brings calmness and ultimately allows you to just be.
It doesn’t matter what you talk about to someone, of it’s problems, other people, memories and wonderful moments, you’re escaping the current moment, letting it slip away, instead of being awake and present in it.
As long as we choose to stay alert and in this present moment, we also feel emotions such as grief, pain, fear and anger. Those are emotions that we would rather like to control in our day-to-day or, even better, not encounter at all! So when we talk a lot, we can talk over our feelings, essentially, talking them away. This might be a short term fix, but in the long term, this will result in more stress and overwhelm in your life.
Problems are not going to get bigger when we choose not to talk about them. Quite on the contrary, they tend to become smaller! Because when we talk about something, our brain perceives it as already dealt with. So talking in itself feels as rewarding, as if we’ve already achieved our goals. The negative side to this is, that discipline is hard to come by after that.
So the less we talk to others about our plans or problems the more we tend to work on projects important to us in silence, ideas are able to develop and solutions come to us. They thrive and grow in an environment in which they are not discussed among friends and family before they have developed into something real, before we’ve made a decision for ourseves.
When we decide to be silent we turn inward. This is a conscious decision to distance yourself from others. And that truly is the only way we’re going to discover the wisdom and happiness within us, even though it might feel lonely at times. But in order to figure out what true happiness means to you, you need to turn inward and you will more likely understand your own feelings and what you truly want out of life. You will find your unique HappinessSpot!
So moving forward, why not try this?
I know this can be strange when you’re, for instance, used to talking everything over with your best friend. But I also promise you that you will get to know yourself much better!