Figure out what makes you happy and then turn that into a daily habit!Nina Vossschulte
1. There’s is no one size fits all
Happiness is unique to everyone, comes in many shapes, forms and colors. And that’s also the beauty of it! However, it makes it very difficult to find your own personal HappinessSpot: your unique mix of different activities, people and things in life that make it a happy one for you.
There are a couple of things about happiness that I think are important to understand and a couple of steps that you need to take in order to make room for the well deserved happiness in your life.
2. Happiness is a journey
While some things in life that make you happy stay the same, others will change over time as you grow, develop, learn new things, broaden your horizon or meet new people. That’s why it’s so important to constantly check in with yourself to ensure that you’re still on the right happiness path for you.
That might also mean that you stop doing things you used to love or that a dream that you’ve always had is not worth pursuing anymore. While it might feel like giving up, ask yourself what it might mean to keep doing or pursuing something that you don’t love anymore and you know is going to make you miserable.
3. Many of us fall into the trap of comparing
Growing up and living in a community and as part of society has us believing that there is a norm and standard when it comes to a good lifestyle. It also suggest a certain idea about success and what that entails, such as money, status or achievement. This has taught us to look for those perfect examples in this world and compare ourselves to something that perhaps in the end would not make us happy at all. When we compare we easily forget that everyone’s different, that we all have different strengths and talents; we all have a different story. Therefore, we all define success in a different way and a good and happy lifestyle, your personal norm, is very different than someone else’s. And while some lives that we are allowed to be a part of online look perfect and happy from the outside, the true story is oftentimes a different one. So don’t try to live up to those standards. Instead, try to let go of what might be right for someone else, what people or society expect you to do or be like and try to focus on what it is that you want in your life.
4. This letting go part is probably one of the most difficult things to do
Because growing up we tend to learn to associate happiness with pleasing our parents or other people. Letting go of other people’s expectations, of comparison and learning what is true to you instead of trying to people please, which will only – if at all! – make you happy for a very short while, will be your first step towards happiness.
5. Making room for what makes you happy
Once you’ve mastered the concept of letting go, which is a difficult first step in itself, people still fail because they don’t have time to implement what they’ve learned. Yet on the other hand we waste quite a lot of time each day with things that, if we cut back on them, would free a lot of time to focus on what’s important.
How much time do you spend online on social platforms each day?
How often to you grab your smartphone during the day to check for messages?
How much time do you spend in front of the TV watching series, shows or movies each day?
How often do you say Yes to someone or something you actually want to say No to?
And now think about how much time you’ll suddenly have if you kept TV, smartphone and online time to a minimum and started saying No!
6. Listening to your inner compass and getting into the habit
Once you’ve let go and made room in your life you did everything you could do to finally focus on your happiness and what it means to you. For this you need to connect to yourself, listen to your heart, your inner compass, which will always guide you right. And once you’ve figured out what happiness means to you, that is how you want to feel, you need to get into the habit of integrating that into your life on a daily basis. Happiness is like a muscle. If you practice it regularly it will get stronger and it will grow. Happiness is also an inside job that is your responsibility.
7. Understanding that happiness does not mean you’ll be happy all the time.
And last, but not least, it’s very important to understand that being happy is not equal to a perfect life or means you’ll only have great moments, no sorrow, grief, pain or disappointment. That’s not how life works and that is a good thing! Because without the dark we couldn’t appreciate the light. And part of a whole, complete day are always light and dark. That’s what makes you whole as well. So I want to you, moving forward, to embrace those “bad” emotions in a good way. They give you a lot of information about what doesn’t work in your life and let you adjust your happiness path. You need them as much as you need those happy moments. But don’t get stuck. Register those “bad” emotions compassionately, understand what they want to tell you and then let them go so you can find a way back to your happiness. And above all, learn to embrace that being truly happy means being authentic in all your emotions.